Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
