just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
