just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
