We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
