im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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