This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
