what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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