Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize