So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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