He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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