why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
