evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
