Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
