Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh god it's open bar.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
