You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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