You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
