Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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