I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
