Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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