bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I currently don't understand fingers.
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