in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
