Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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