Don't make out with my wife yet
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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