Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
