There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
