She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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