i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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