see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
