i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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