kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
