when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
