hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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