I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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