I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
