why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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