Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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