just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The uberlube is also flammable
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
