the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
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This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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