maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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