on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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