I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize