Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
