Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
