Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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