Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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