my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
