Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
