she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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