Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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