Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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