please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
