you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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