I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
