We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
