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Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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