Don't you send me to vm
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
