Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
