I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
