What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
