Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
