Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
