dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh god it's open bar.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
