It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
