went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He passed out mid-signature
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
