If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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