is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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