My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize