This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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