At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
