your thong is hanging out like whoa
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
