Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
